Children At Absolute Zero
Apr 7th, 2008 by Greg Bulmash
So, I was driving along in my car, listening to AM news radio because its commercial breaks are shorter and less whiny than public radio's pledge breaks (I'll get to that in a moment), and I heard a commercial for QFC's pharmacy offering $4 generics (like every other Wal-Mart imitator) that sounded wrong to my ear.
A woman was talking about how we rely more and more on our pharmacists and then cited a time "when my daughter's temperature came back." Well, I was up on my high horse and spurring it to a gallop with that one.
"I'm glad your daughter's temperature came back," I said, talking back to the radio. "What happened? Did she drop to absolute zero? No temperature at all?" Then I got sidetracked for a moment, contemplating whether absolute zero is the absence of temperature or merely the absence of heat, but I got myself back on track, fuming over this idiomatic, colloquial slangmongery, where QFC was talking down to its patrons using incorrect English. I pledged to blog about it when I got home.
As I prepared to start this blog entry, I went to get the definition of "temperature" from Dictionary.com so I could back up my righteous indignation.
Whaddaya know? "Temperature," when applied to body temperature, can mean a fever. Both the Dictionary.com unabridged and American Heritage dictionaries say so. I got myself worked into a lather... and I was wrong.
Don't tell my wife.
Anyhoo, I said I'd discuss the KUOW pledge breaks that were interrupting "All Things Considered" and thus driving me to KOMO 1000 AM. See, there are three reasons why I do not call in a pledge:
1: Even if I pledge, I still have to listen to pledge drives. So my listening experience is the same as a freeloader as it is as a member.
2: I joined KCET in Los Angeles when I was young and stupid. Every two weeks they called and/or or sent me junk mail, asking me for more money. I estimated that they spent at least 30% of my pledge amount on the costs of their junk mail. I donated that money to pay for programming, not to pay for harrassing me.
3: Six weeks after I donated to KCET, a dozen other charities suddenly started mailing me. They shared my contact information!
I like the content on public television and public radio. I'd be happy to make a $50-75 donation to KUOW since I listen to it so often. I even sent them an e-mail saying I'd gladly pledge if they could promise me that I would be put on ZERO mailing lists. I never got an answer.
Give me a "here's your money, now leave me alone" option for pledging, and I'll be all over it like white on rice. But if pledging gets me MORE inconvenience than freeloading, then I'll be over here listening to CDs or AM news radio while you get this latest pledge drive out of your system. In the meantime, the only support I can pledge is my emotional support.
I heard that.