For fun, I like to write little songs for my kids. This is the latest one and is sung to the tune of "The Blue Danube" by Strauss. In case you're having trouble imagining how it works with that melody, I got out my el-cheapo USB microphone and recorded an mp3 of "Volcano Smokeys Pizza Place". Please understand that the mp3 is just for demo purposes and any criticism of my singing is completely missing the point.

Volcano Smokey's Pizza Place by Greg Bulmash is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at http://www.brainhandles.com/contact-us.

At Volcano Smokey's pizza place
There was a din-o-saur meeting space
Where all the triceratops would go
To see the famous singing bronto
The T-rex would play the stand-up bass
While raptors on drums would rock the place
The dinosaurs danced with such grace
At Volcano Smokey's place

Pterodactyls flew through the dusky blue
Shining spotlights in the twilight
By the gingko roots they played silver flutes
On pizza they dined while the starlight did shine

The big sauropods stomped
Little fabrosauri romped
And the allosaurus chomped
On a big plate of pasta all covered in cheese

In moonlight, as the dino-band played, love entered the room
Indosaurus danced with Vulcanodon and swept away the gloom

They danced 'til night was done
And nobody had to run
All the dinos had some fun
At Volcano Smokey's great pizza place.

There are odd things you'll watch when you're up soothing a baby. Basically you just turn on the TV and whatever's on, you watch.

For me, this morning, it was the Nicholas Cage stinker Next. At one point, he and Jessica Biel were driving through the rain and one of them said "I like rain."

I was walking the boy around and started singing to him: "I like rain..." And this song (link to MP3 of me singing it acapella - 25 seconds, 200k) developed.

I Like Rain

I like rain
Rain on my face
Rain in my hair
All over the place

Nobody likes a rainy wet butt
So don't rain on my pants.

And if you liked this one, you'll probably like the fart song I made up for my older boy.

Jesus was Jewish
So he could not eat bacon
Except in private

If you put bacon
On a plate with anything
Bacon always wins

Wrap it in bacon
So it becomes delicious
Then eat it quickly

My dog likes bacon
This proves she is really smart
Do you like bacon?

Bacon or breathing?
Remember air lacks flavor
Except in Pittsburgh

There is a reason
Bacon tastes so wonderful
Because God loves us

Invariably
The question boils down to this
Crunchy or chewy

I do love bacon
So why don’t you marry it?
Proposition 8

eight haiku about bacon - click for t-shirt

Came up with this last night and it had my three-year-old in stitches, mostly because you can put any kid's name in it. He didn't like it so much when I used his name, but after I tried it with the name of a friend of his, I had to sing it over and over again, using the names of various kids in his day care class while he laughed and laughed. Read the rest of this entry »