Comments on: Hell on $5 a Day - Chapter 3

By: Greg Bulmash

Greg Bulmash — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 02:17:52 +0000

Enjoy the writing class, Walt. I took one in my senior year of high school too.

By: Walt Hum

Walt Hum — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 00:41:29 +0000

It all makes sense now. The first couple of chapters were confusing yet intriguing, then you explained it.
I am a senior in high school and in a writing class, which means nothing but me studying your storey for structure and enjoying it.
Keep it up

By: Greg Bulmash

Greg Bulmash — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 14:46:42 +0000

I have nothing in the story where Alain gets exposed to sunlight, so I could have just left that as is, but it's a myth I feel gets overused as an easy way out. You paint your character into a corner, surrounded by vamps, and then use the sun to magically rescue him/her. If I paint a character into a corner, surrounded by vamps, he's going to have to fight his way out. Of course, if it's daylight, the vamps only have human strength, are slow to heal, and light hurts their eyes, so he's got a fighting chance. But he's still got to fight.

By: bullfinch

bullfinch — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 12:22:41 +0000

Great work Greg! It's really coming along. I usually like the sunlight kills myth but I like your angle on it. Should work great for the story. I hope Alain manages to stay more human and heroic than the rest. Keep em coming!

By: Dave

Dave — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 17:46:14 +0000

I agree, I like the idea about them being able to withstand sunlight. My only issue is that i got duped into seeing that steaming pile of garbage called "Twilight" by a stupid friend who said "its a vampire movie, you'll like it". So as long as your characters aren't J Crew model tools that "Glitter" in the sunlight as if they have millions of little diamonds in their skin I'm completely happy with your decision. I'm sorry, I had to get that off my chest, that movie was a joke, but a joke in that bad way that makes you angry. Also, the duffel bag idea was a stroke of genuis. The fact that they drop from the trees and unzip to reveal the perfect set of assassins is awesome. I would buy this book for $22.95 hard cover... maybe more since you're a Bullfinch fan...

By: R.A. Howe

R.A. Howe — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 23:47:58 +0000

I started reading with the last entry, and I'm thoroughly enjoying it thusfar. Stig is right about the sunlight issue, and, since you explain your choice pretty thoroughly, I don't think anyone would have problems with it. Most people approach books with suspension of disbelief and are willing to accept any reasonable assumptions the author asks them to make. Also, I feel bad for Alain (and his dinners, of course, but I don't personally know them). I don't suppose he can raid the medical tent at the next place?

I look forward to learning about the other non- or post-human creatures, too.

By: Greg Bulmash

Greg Bulmash — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 23:12:00 +0000

@Stig: The doctor says in Chapter II, "you think you'd get all that power without a little collateral?" So you figured that out. The soul child is a guarantee of sorts.

As for the racism. I hear you. My wife is black, so I understand how hard it can be to read people so casually using certain words we've worked so hard to eliminate. But there are two things:

1: Once I decided to have an African American in the unit, the other characters had to react to that.
2: Their racism helps make Vinnie and Reese less sympathetic.

By: Stig Hemmer

Stig Hemmer — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 21:11:50 +0000

New reader here. Good work!

When you get a complete novel, it should be worthy of commercial publishing. (Well, I am not an editor, but in my humble opinion and all that)

When reading the previous chapters it was unclear what was really going on. Now we know more. Making weapons out of vampires makes sense, from a war-time point of view. As someone who have lived all his life in peace, it utterly horrifies me, but what do I know?

On another note, the casual racism displayed by some of the characters is hard to read for a modern reader. It is, however, historically correct. (I find it interesting that I react more strongly to racism than to the other horrible stuff that is happening)

We still don't know what happened to his soul-child. Held hostage to his good behaviour?

On sunlight: This is your world. You decide how things work here. What you decree, is. Don't let anybody tell you different.