It may seem strange, but even before I knew about the internet, I had pen pals in other countries. It was neat getting to know people who had grown up in other cultures. Even now, I have online friends outside the United States. Some of them live in one of the strangest, most magical, and back-asswards countries in the world... a place called Canada.
They have stores there that you just don't see in the United States. Places with weird, foreign-sounding names like "Tim Horton's". So I was perplexed when a Canadian friend tweeted from that northern land of frost and ice: "I just want you all to know how delicious the first Tim Hortons IceCap of the year tastes."
An IceCap? Tim Horton's? These were unfamiliar terms to me. I've only been to Canada maybe 5 times. I stay in Hiltons and eat American-style food. I'd never been to a Tim Horton's or discovered the magical wonders inside. I always wondered if they served chili balls in fish syrup, crab and peanut butter cakes with cilantro vinegar, hamburgers with ketchup... you know, the weird exotic things you always hear they eat in Canada.
Thus I tweeted back: "For those of us who are Canadacally Impaired: What's a Tim Horton's Ice Cap?"
Another American friend (who I have since learned is secretly Canadian!) tweeted me a link that basically said "go look it up on Google" (but in a less kind way). Still, I wanted to hear it from the Canuck's mouth and eventually she tweeted back that an IceCap is an Iced Cappucino. Ha! Those wacky Canadians, shortening two words and cramming them together to make a cute product name... no wonder their leading export is marketing geniuses. Or is it actors? They do export a lot of actors. I secretly think they kick actors out because they lower property values, but I've heard Canadians are an exceptionally tolerant people... even toward actors.
Well, now I'm a bit less Canadacally Impaired than I was before. Please, if you have any more tidbits of amazing information about the dark and mysterious land known as Canada, post them in the comments below.


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You do realize that your american friend is actually formerly Canadian, yes?
Man, you Canadians are sneaky. Taking a page from the serial killer handbook, you guys simply blend in, looking just like normal people. I've got my eye on you, now.
When you least expect it ... upside the head with a hockey stick, eh?
like americans are so wise hahaha
Well, we are inordinately proud of basketball, lacrosse and hockey and have more donut stores per capita than any other country (or so I'm told)
Where I'm from we use fun words like 'skookum' and, well, can you get deep-fried pickles and poutine in pubs in America? I really don't know about that part.
Also, don't be confused if your Canadian friends mention "Timmy's" or "Tim's," they're just more term for Tim Hortons (named after the hockey player who started it don'tcha know)
Tim's was owned by Wendy's for a while (before they spun it off to generate cash before being bought out themselves). They made cake donuts (like Dunkin, not yeast like Krispy Kreme). They have them all over the place in Ohio where Wendy's is based. Not very good. It is, however, a big thing in Canada. They have them from BC to Nova Scotia.
Poutine, on the other hand, I've only seen in Quebec and the Maritime Provinces. It's melted cheese curds (*not* at all like cottage cheese) on fries with beef gravy. It always sounded gross but is surprisingly tasty.
In Canada, the have transport trucks (not semis), scribblers (notebooks), Coles Notes (Cliffs), Rockets (Smaties candy), Smarties (disgusting M&M look-alike), the Grey Cup (Canada's 'Super Bowl' with slightly different rules of play), etc. From the two years I spent there (one in BC and one in NB/NS) and from what I've picked up from wife (a Maritimer), I haven't ever seen anything that seemed universally and undeniably Canadian culture. It seems very much like America with regional differences (the South, Midwest, Pacific Northwest, New England, etc.) except the names are different (Maritimes, Prairie Provinces, etc.). The food isn't significantly different than what you can find in most of the towns and cities I've lived in here in the States. There are things like poutine, but they are regional (think fried balogna in the South). They have basketball, baseball, football, hockey (HUGE in Canada), etc. but even something like curling which seems very Canadian is actually from late medieval Scotland.
The only real differences I found between Canada and the States is politics and health care. They have a Parlimentary system inherited from Britain where the Prime Minister seems to be whomever is the leader of the majority party and the legislative, executive, and judicial functions seem to all be parts of the same branch of government instead of separate branches with checks and balances. Their head of state is the monarch of another courtry and thier passports ask for passage to be granted in the name of the queen (or something like that, at least when my wife got her passport ten years ago or so).
Healthcare is free, if you can wait. One of my wife's relatives had a brain aneurysm. Once it was identified, it was several months before she got a surgery to repair it. Very lucky it didn't rupture in the mean time. My wife, right before she came down to the States, herniated a disk in her back. She was 'fast-tracked' for an MRI to confirm the diagnosis and ended up on a six-month waiting list. When she came to the States, she had an MRI, a surgery, and was doing physical therapy within three-four weeks of her first doctor visit. On the other hand, our son was born in Canada. It was a very difficult pregnancy with lots of complications and he was born with a defect that required ICU and a surgery (he's fine now). Lot's of doctor's visits with lots of specialists, etc. and not a penny out of pocket (not directly, anyway).
They are less sue-happy and seem more into the collective good than the States, which is nice, but it really didn't feel much different than living in a nice, quiet college town with a big liberal arts school nearby. And while we export much of our culture via Holywood, much of that is funneled through Canada (think Lion's Gate films and tv shows like Doc which are filmed in Canada). Then there are all the actors and musicians that they 'export'. Some, like Alanis Morissette, they happily push out the door (the Canadian Tiffany before her remake for the American audience) and others like Leonad Cohen (which many Americans like but whom, as a whole, we don't seem to get). In a lot of little ways, it's like we are being slowly, secretly Canadianized (They walk among us). Which doesn't seem like such a bad thing.
duude tims merged with wendys, wendys did'nt buy it...