So, Chuck Norris has endorsed Mike Huckabee. Arnold Schwarzenegger just endorsed John McCain. The nation excitedly awaits an endorsement announcement from Steven Seagal.

Of course, the Olsen Twins are endorsing Obama, because "black guys are like cool and stuff," Britney Spears is endorsing "woooooo," and Lindsay Lohan is endorsing George W. Bush "because he's like the only guy running who knows what it's like to overcome cocaine and alcohol addiction. What do you mean he isn't running?!"