Here are some more "not long enough to qualify for a blog post" facebook posts.

April 26:

I need those "Clockwork Orange" thingies to clamp my eyes open this morning.

April 28:

I won't blame Obama for everything Bush did. I'll just blame him for letting so much of it continue.

April 29:

Some signs I've created to spice up my office decor.

April 30:

Sieze the day, hold it hostage, and demand chocolate.

April 30:

Your job as a parent is not only to help your child learn to fly, but to terminate with extreme prejudice any motherfucker who would try to shoot that child down.

May 3:

One time, after my oldest son had chattered nonstop from the backseat for a while, I told him I "ran out of hearing." He'd talked so much, he used it all up. And if he wanted me to be able to hear him again, he was going to have to be quiet so I could build up a new reserve.